I Am…

I am…what? This seems to me to be the most difficult-ly nuanced and complex question any human can ever ask themselves. At the same time and on the flip side of that coin, it seems to be the easiest question ever. Somewhere in the chasm between the two we wander, we search, we dig, we cry, we laugh, we work, we pray, we love, we hide, we play, we sleep, we create, we LIVE. And it is only AFTER we’ve done all of that, that we can look back and begin to see who it is that…I AM….

I am…in the chasm. I am…in discovery. I am…living.

In the past I intentionally never shared these posts. I didn’t connect them to any social media platform. It was almost like an online journal that no one would see unless they happened across it. There’s a certain vouyerishness (also have a tendency to make up new words or at least my spelling of them) about this…it’s like indecent exposure in public. No one is supposed to see it but the excitement or appeal comes with the thought that someone just might.

But I think it’s time for my I AMness to come out of hiding. Our collective I AMness all coming together is what creates our reality as we know it and as Carolyn Myss put it “Share your wisdom, not your pain.” The wisdom I have gained over the years is vastly incomplete and still in growth process but that is a lifelong journey. A tree is a tree no matter how big or small. There is no shame in growth or the lack thereof. It’s all just a journey and I feel that sharing mine has become a call that I can no longer ignore.

My consistency may be called into question as well as my sincerity but nevertheless here I am to speak the wisdom that I have gained. Often thru pain. Pain is like the candy wrapper to wisdom. It’s only after the inedible and tasteless often-too-noisy wrapper has come off and been discarded that wisdom can reveal her sweetness and pleasure.

I’m not even certain what I’ll be writing about. I’ve considered writing book reports on my favourite books, lessons that I learn from my new puppy, spiritually based growth and other self-discovery type of topics. It will likely be a smattering of all of the above and whatever else happens to pop to mind.

If you happen to be one of the souls that comes across this…I wouldn’t mind if you let me know. Say hello and read or share or follow as you feel inspired.

I’ll just be over here in my corner…being who I AM.

Originally published at http://benjiesblog.org on February 4, 2020.